Asha's Hope

Living

2007-01-12T14:33:00.000+08:00

My Friends,
I've returned to America today. Descending into Atlanta seemed so familiar since I've done it a dozen times...but viewing the expanse of this country was almost unbelievable! I anticipate that soon I'll be making some adjustments to enter life in this world. (Right now though I'm still living on Singapore time and hence posting this at 3am in the morning!). I'm thankful to have gone, and thankful to be back. I pray now that the things I've seen and known in SE Asia will be a part of me here, that I will learn to live and love more fully than before. THANK YOU for journeying with me and making it possible for me to have gone and grown.

I was looking over some of my earlier posts and through some of my journals from the past 12 months. The strong theme on my heart has been and is that of Hope. So, in concluding this blog I want to speak of hope, to remind myself of truth. I've seen new dimensions to life this year, and I've learned more of what's reality in my own life - the dirt and grief, the grace and joy, the life intended for glory. I want to continue to become more aware of reality in life as we experience it. For what purpose? To live with purpose here and now, to experience reality as it was meant to be, even as it can be because the Father has made a way. We who are kept by God, forgiven and walking in faith, though we wander and struggle, we possess a real hope, that we are going somewhere, to be with Someone. This hope is beyond the physical. It overcomes this world. It compels and draws to the words of life and to works of love. It's rooted in the very Spirit of the True God, His Presence come close. The grace that undergirds it is for those who want healing and find it in the Savior of the World, without respect to nation or station...it's for Americans as well as SE Asians, for the physically oppressed as well as the spiritually dry. It's the thing everyone's craving. It's ONLY true in and through the Risen Christ, the provision of the Father.

Living hope is necessity for the believer. My prayer for us is that we really soak up the truth of who we are in Christ, the Vine, the Living Hope. I look to the day when our worship will transform tribes and tongues, when the world will live Hope until the Day comes when faith will turn to sight and Hope to Presence.

-Asha

"Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." -Hebrews 10:22

We are born to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus, to an indestructible inheritance. God is guarding this salvation and will reveal it soon. Know, See, Enjoy. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and experience joy that you can't even express! Pass it on. - 1 Peter 1

Heading Home

2007-01-10T19:36:00.000+08:00

I'm about to board the plane...goodbye SE Asia. Tough to say goodbye to life here, varied as it has been. Thankful that the Lord never leaves this place. Thinking about contentment in all stations, even in plenty and lack. Wondering what emotions will soon race in my heart...what thoughts? First, dinner. We're heading out the door now. Will write soon, after a 25 hour transit (Singapore-Seoul-Atlanta).

-Asha

Chaingmai...2007

2007-01-02T00:55:00.000+08:00

A day in Chaingmai can bring a lot of things...so I'm learning. This little girl is sitting outside the temple on top the mountain, chanting and wearing her tribal costume.

The people still come to the temple, hoping for something promising...expecting luck to carry them through the next year. They walk around the gold-painted square center of the temple in reverence to the unknown, deferring to those who have gone before.

And sitting in a park drinking carrot juice can invite a conversation with local monks from the Chiangmai Buddhist Univserity...what is their hope? I asked them. We talked, we shared, we compared. I want them to understand joy and purpose beyond becoming extinct, non-existent, escaping. We have more than that in store for the future! The alternative is no bliss. Reality is sobering. Grace is enlivening.

brief

2006-12-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

...just arrived to Thailand (the last post was written Christmas Day but I could only send today)...pretty weary, emotionally spent, but eager. It was really hard to leave today. Many tears. signs of goodness. grateful

-asha

Possible

2006-12-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

It’s really hard to put to typing what’s gone on these past days, but I want to seize this opportunity to send greetings. You may have noticed I’ve been “lingering” for awhile (smile!)…I haven’t been able to post since mid-November. During my last stay in Thailand I upgraded my blog version, and then when I reached Myanmar I found out that the new version was not accessible from this country…

When I got back to Yangon after the retreat, I realized just how much I appreciated those days of rest we had in Thailand…every day since has been like running a marathon. I remember my director telling me that it’s really easy for people preparing to leave the field to start slipping into thoughts about going home several weeks before they depart. She encouraged me to remember while I’m still here that I have been sent here with purpose. I have thought about home…about seeing my family, about what lies ahead. Believe me that I am extremely excited to come Stateside soon and learn and grow with old and new friends in the seasons that will come. But for today, there’s so much going on every moment here, and I am trying to soak Asia up while there’s time. In just a few days I will say goodbye to Myanmar…for now.

My team and I have been learning a lot about waiting, but very actively. We recently concluded our teaching responsibilities in the village and have been researching and praying for ministry direction for the new years to come. God’s ways are higher than ours for sure, so we want to proceed as He leads. One of the highlights for me in these past weeks was taking several of our students (upper teens/early 20s) to a Youth Ignite Conference put on by some guys from Singapore and Indonesia…so exciting, so challenging. Learning that true sacrifice brings the powerful presence of the Lord into our lives. Yesterday I returned from a 3-day journey to Karen State. Met some believers there and was amazed yet again by God’s creative Hand in the beauty of the scenery. Today (Christmas) we ate rice and pork with about 50 children at the “children’s home” we visit regularly…it was such a feast! To watch the kids pray will blow any American away. Such fervor, such conviction that the One to whom they speak is ABLE.

And that’s the thought I want to share with you this Christmas. The angel told Mary, “For nothing will be impossible with God.” – Luke 1:37

I’m about to conclude my journey in Myanmar, and in Asia. I know that with God the things behind and the things ahead are possible, and His grace is sufficient for the days to come as they have been thus far. My hope as we enter this new year – 2007 – is that we be filled with the knowledge of the power of God and trust His goodness. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! This is the day that the Lord has made…REJOICE! Be GLAD.

2 Christmas poems I penned this morning…

THE CHILD
persecuted, preeminent
lowly, lifted up
heavily laden, highly exalted
All men bow
Coming Soon
THE KING

Impossible truth,
Certain hope.
Imperfect lineage,
Perfect sacrifice.
Should not be for us…
But is.
Forsaken…
Risen.
Wonder, world…
Receive your gift.
Wonderful Counselor
who knows our plight;
Our peace child reigns
with mighty love;
Worship Him today,
while He can be found.

***P.S. This oxen carriage is how we got to church the other week… “Sleigh bells ring…are you listening?” Just no snow!

...

2006-11-12T08:33:00.000+08:00

L i n g e r i n g...

have you ever tried it?
maybe holding that last morsel of dark chocolate on your tongue
or staying one more second with your face toward the sun, and then another second
or keeping your nose in the center of that rose through one, two, maybe ten breaths
or singing one line of a chorus over and over again
or hanging on that cell through one more word, another thought, another moment in time.

this week i got to linger...in the presence of the Lord.
Graham from the States came out to share with our teams about how much God enjoys us...i know i will never get tired of learning how my Father absolutely loves to have me in his presence. you know, it's amazing but we don't always have to bring him something. we don't always have to have the words. one of my favorite ways to come is through song, just sitting on the edge of the dock watching the tide come in and listening to music and hangin' out with him. and he lingers! and we can too.

thankful for the rest that comes through being quiet, present. i'm in a lot of realms of waiting right now, and he's letting me wait with him. i need him. And there is "no god besides him, who acts for those who wait for him" - isaiah 64:4

i want my prayer in these last weeks out here to be what David said, 'one thing i seek, only one thing i desire; to gaze upon the beauty, the delightful attractiveness of the Lord'. some things in our field, the country, my life, have been very difficult. but when we are well-watered gardens, those things don't have any power over us, nor can the arid influence consume the fertile ground. I really know that intercession allows the watering springs to be Him. and His word is power. So, though i return today to my country and face with my team the unknown in ministry and life and relationships, i will set my face to seek the Lord; i will listen to his voice (I've got a great song by a British worship leader - Godfrey Burtill- that helps me linger on this heart stance). please pray for me to that end.

I wanted to comment on one thing that I learned from my time at the Thai/Burma border before the retreat. I realized that though the adults in the "no citizenship zone" are not free to move past the Thai checkpoints, the children born on Thai soil are given citizenship and oneday can be mobilized...for the glory of the God of Springs. The soil will be changed as time brings hope for a new generation.

This coming Tuesday there will be worship in Yangon. Several different churches are gathering to sing to the Lord songs of praise. The Lord will inhabit, will linger in, the praises of His people. We will be shooting a live VCD that eventually will bring the songs of rejoicing throughout the cities and villages of Myanmar. Pray for protection, for springs of water to shoot out with power.

Rakhine State Pictures

2006-10-31T11:56:00.000+08:00

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place- the Most High, who is my refuge - no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.

"Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."

aNOTHER dAY

2006-10-28T17:50:00.000+08:00

Today is another day. Another day of life, another day of being built up, another day of being wearied, another day of celebration, another day of reflection, another day to taste of the present, another day to hope for what’s to come.

I did get to go up to Rhakine State. It was awesome! We first arrived to the island capital, Sittwe, which was extremely hot and sunny, very underdeveloped, with electricity only operational between the hours of 7 and 10pm (and this was the capital!). The first night in our motel room I thought Lily and I would die of suffocation, but praise God we made it through, with an hour or so of sleep to spare! During our stay at Sittwe we visited with 2 different villages, each wanting to school their children but struggling to find the resources to compensate their teachers. Walking through their community reveals little more than loving families and kids playing, which, really is gold. There are no real physical comforts to note, there are no jobs for income nor tangible markets for miles. I saw one plastic toy gun in the dirt path, maybe a village toy obtained long ago somewhere. Young and old alike spend much of each day just bringing water to their homes, water from a dirty swamp outside the village. They seem all but forgotten, as the government makes no provisions of support for them. But the families don’t want to leave; this land is their home, and has been for generations. And the great thing to me was their teamwork in talking through what they could all contribute. The fact that they wanted education and valued that was in itself a great asset. Really, I was privileged mainly to listen, and to ask questions occasionally and let the villagers talk. We brainstormed some ways to use the resources they do have and they are going to draft a business plan for their ideas (weaving longyis and running a rice shop) and a building plan for the school house. The local monk who oversees that area is going to subsidize one of the villages with a rice mill he has raised donations to open. This monk is quite amazing, as he has actually said that “Jesus is the Way to [Nirvana]”! My friends working up there have gone out to homes with him and shared the truth, and he assents and says, “Yes, you’ll never get there on your own. Jesus can take you there.” Truly AMAZING…so, we had our community meetings in the monastery, which looks like a miniature golf course with all the giant statues (all you need is the giant windmill for the ball to go through!)…I’ll try to post a picture when I get one.

We had to leave Sittwe earlier than we hoped because of the limited departure options…either Thursday or Sunday, and one of my friends had to be back in Yangon by Saturday. So, we left Thursday and went south to Ngapali Beach…not a bad place to spend a few ‘hang-out’ days! It was beautiful, perhaps the most relaxing beach I’ve been to…with clear blue water, powder white sand, mountains in the distance and rocks close to shore for the waves to hit to make a majestic spray of white. We just rested, which was such a gift to me. In the past few weeks I’ve felt quite tired, worn down, energy depleted, physical health waning. So, to have almost 4 days at the beach to rest and read and run was wonderful. I thank the Lord. We rode bikes, ate delicious fresh fish, read books, swam, went kayaking, hiked up a mountain and found a lake just a few yards from the beach, and then on my last night, when I was lying on the sand and reflecting about a lot…feeling still and needing to know Jesus’ love…I looked up and in the distance I saw a white horse galloping toward me…And it wasn’t a mirage! The horse and rider came right to me and asked if I wanted to ride…[Michaela, I know you would have loved it!] So, into the sunset I rode, and though the horse walked slowly, steadily when I wished it would race, I thoroughly soaked up the views on all sides…waves, sky, sun, people playing futbol on the sand, the promise of nightfall approaching to reveal myriads of stars.
Wow. It was a great time. Also great to go to the Chin/Karen church on Sunday and fellowship with the small but alive group. Pray that Rhakine people would also come to worship the Lord. Pray for unity and a church movement. (Chin, Karen, Rhakine are 3 of the many ethnic groups in Myanmar. Historically, the groups have remained quite separate in their cultures, dialects, worship).

Well, this week in Yangon has flown by. I head to Thailand on Monday to renew my visa and then take a bus to visit our border work for a week before our MTI staff retreat starts. When I return to Myanmar I will only have 6 weeks left. Each day is important.

Celebrate it!
-Soun nhin pyuh (“Winter Snow White”, my Burmese name given by friends)

Day by day His tender mercy
Healing, helping, full and free,
Sweet and strong, and oh, so patient,
Brought me lower while I whispered,
"Less of self and more of Thee."

Higher than the highest heavens,
Deeper than the deepest sea,
Lord, Thy love at last hath conquered:
Grant me now my spirit's longing,
None of self and all of Thee.

Redeeming the Days...Anticipating the Coming Hope

2006-10-08T00:35:00.000+08:00

It looks like Christmas and the 4th of July hit Myanmar congruently, as colorful lights hang outside my apartment building, and men, women, and children are lighting sparklers in merriment. Fire balloons are being shot up all over the place…they float high in the sky for several minutes and then fall down swiftly. And yes, some houses do catch on fire!

What is all of this festivity? What is it pointing to?

One of my good friends here is working with some new believers (they come from a Buddhist background), helping them to contextualize the message of Light with their worldview, even incorporating some of their “Buddhist” framework, so that they can be effective lights of spreading news of the Returning Risen One. This is some of what I’ve learned from him and these new believers…

Yesterday (October 6) was the Myanmar Buddhist full moon festival of Thadingyut. This festival concludes the Buddhist lent period and marks the end of the rainy season. Normally, most people here get up early in the morning on Oct. 6, attend a reading of the ancient Pali scriptures at the local monastery (which they can’t understand), then make their way to meet with their parents to offer and receive forgiveness (this last practice is a good thing and something we need to do more!)…after noon they fast from eating (though this really isn’t strictly observed)…the day culminates in the Festival of Lights once it gets dark. This last ceremony is practiced to commemorate Buddha’s descent from the celestial abode. Candles are lit to light the way for his return. The Theravada Buddhist monks blow a conch shell to trumpet the coming of Buddha…

But we know the One who IS coming back, and soon! He told us to keep our lamps lit as we keep watch for Him. When He comes, he will take us back to His Father’s house, the Golden City, where there will be no more tears and we will feast at the Great Wedding.

So…my friends here have decided to claim this annual Thadingyut celebration as a Holy Day looking forward to the return of Christ. In the words of my friend, “If there was any people and country that needed to hear the message of this Hope, it surely is the peoples of Myanmar!”

Last night, during Festival of Lights, I sat in the home of new believers; we had church there. We sat in a circle, read Mathew 24:1-51 and Ephesians 5:8-33. The leader began to light the candles and pass them around the circle one-by-one. We read the Scriptures saying that we are children of the True Light and that we will shine for him. Then we took the Lord’s supper (we used bread, but maybe rice would have been appropriate, as the Burmese “have to have rice to survive”…just like the Bread of Life). We prayed and shared our thoughts and questions with each other. To close the fellowship time the leader chimed the Buddhist bell (usually hit 3 times in the name of the Buddha -and 2 other things that I can’t remember- to begin and end their meditation time), but this time the bell was chimed in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. During the fellowship one lady said she believed in this One who is coming, and she told us that her whole house wants to be baptized.

“I say to you that there will be many who come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the Kingdom of the Golden Land.” – Matthew 8:11

Pray for these young believers. They have many hurdles to cross in understanding the truth, but they are ever eager because the Spirit is drawing them. They want to share the news with their neighbors, too…REJOICE! Pray for accurate Bible translations to be done in the many sub-language groups of Myanmar, with redemptive concepts that make sense to the people. (Even the Burmese translation completed by Judson has some concepts that are easily misunderstood because of the Buddhist worldview…e.g. the word Judson used for “heaven” (literal translation) is actually part of the Buddhist layers of “hell”; the word for “sin” means “criminal” and most people think that does not describe them; and the concept of substitutionary atonement is absolutely unheard of in a religion that says your future is determined by your own actions (cause and effect)…and killing is associated with bad karma (So how could God command Abraham to kill Isaac? And how could God really be God if He killed his own son?)…there are more issues than these, but we must remember that it is the child’s faith that is needed to understand, and all of us who believe today have been given this as a result of grace alone.

So, if you believe Jesus is Savior and Lord, celebrate the coming Wedding Feast with lights and trumpets…knowing that the sun and moon will pass away and the stars will fall from the sky…but the Word of the Lord will remain. Not a hair from you head will perish as you journey home.

I am remembering this verse from Luke 21 (verse 18) daily, and meditating on Psalm 23. I may be going to another state in Myanmar next week, called Rhakine State on the West Coast. There are some villages off the coast that were badly hit by the 2004 tsunami who are in need of finding ways to support their children’s teachers’ salaries. One of the things I studied at Covenant College and actually did my Senior Integration Project on was facilitating savings groups in communities with little resources, trying to promote self-sustainable ways of utilizing the community’s own assets. If I go, it will be a long journey (15 hour bus ride over large mountains with rough roads, and then a boat ride; maybe we’ll take an internal flight one way, we’ll see), and I will need strength and insights for listening and teaching. But I am so eager to go if God opens this door. Thank you for praying and encouraging me in various ways…each week here brings more familiarity with my present environment, but more of a longing for home as well. Love for both grows, and your prayers are part of my sustenance. Thank you, friends. I hope to write again soon.

And Some More Colors and Shapes...

2006-09-24T01:57:00.000+08:00

Some more pics of life in the "Lonely Planet"

2006-09-24T01:14:00.000+08:00

A World Away

2006-09-23T18:03:00.000+08:00

"I'm Here to Meet With You...Come And Meet with Me..I'm here to find You...Reveal yourself to me...As I wait, You make me strong...as I long, draw me to your arms...as I stand and sing your praise...you come, you come, and fill this place...Won't you come, won't you come, and fill this place!"

These are the beginning lines of one of my favorite songs...I've been singing it over and over today.

These little boys are standing politely for their photo (all children are taught to stand with their arms crossed to show respect). They are from the Naga tribe and have left their parents to be a part of a training children's home in the city. Their leaders are praying that one or more of them will go back to their tribes as worship leaders.

This is a view out my window in Yangon...we're soon leaving the rainy season, so the sunsets should start coming more regularly!
...I found out there was a coup d'etat in Bangkok hours before I was supposed to board the plane. Of course, not many people really knew about it in Myanmar -news of the outside world is hard to come by. But, things seem peaceful here right now, aside from the armed military personnel I have become familiar with in my other surroundings. So, thankfully, I have successfully renewed my visa for another period and will be returning to Burma, home early tomorrow morning. But before I go back, I want to share a few photos with you while I have quick internet connection.

The friends I requested prayer for are doing well; no one was imprisoned; they went before the authorities and actually were able to get registered so they can at least exist with permission now. But, we must still pray for their freedom to worship and prepare young people for ministry.

This green and brown building is our English school. Teens come eager to learn 3 days/week and have 2 hour lessons. Many new students are joining, and we are having to put up waiting lists.

The closeness of a ride with the town!

Each day we board buses, then hyluxes (jeeps) for the 2 hour trip to the school.

These women are sitting in between the two benches, on tiny little stools (sometimes you wonder how much of you will be floating in mid-air!). Then, do you see the men standing at the end, hanging on for dear life!

Freedom Request

2006-09-12T00:40:00.000+08:00

Guys, urgent request that you pray for a "body" of believers I know and love here- for their freedom to worship and train. They are pursuing this issue with authorities currently.

Here's some more pics of Burma scenery...

The pagodas (almost 1,000 years old) are taken by Sarah and me in Bagan.

A street scene...

This is an older-looking Buddha image sitting in one of the ancient temples...most Buddhas are actually golden - real gold (this country is wealthy, but you wouldn't know it by looking at its people)

Country road...take me home...

Reflections from a Northward Land Trip

2006-09-11T22:15:00.000+08:00

[This post was written August 19 and intended for mid August, but due to the internet connection and the schedule I've kept of late, it is only now appearing...thank you for your patient care and continued prayer]...

What a journey. I’m home now in Yangon and back to the “routine” of English and computer classes, if you could call it a routine. But here are some reflections on the trip north.

This area of Myanmar was very different from Yangon, actually less “accessible” is certain regards. Experiencing a different side of the country’s dynamics opened our eyes further to what’s involved in living and working here. At one point we found ourselves being followed, questioned, and then taken to the local authority’s office because we were foreigners. (Foreigners are required to “register” with the government and secure permission before going to any ‘non-tourist’ area.)

The young people we met at the training school were such fun (the school is actually classed as a music school – and the students are quite gifted musically!). These students are in a one-year Bible training program, and they live and work together as a family. Their gracious attitudes were so inviting, and they welcomed the messages we brought. They were especially eager for me to play my flute and wanted me to play non-stop because, though they had heard keyboard simulations of the flute, they had never actually seen a silver flute. I was thinking back to when I was in 6th grade and just beginning to learn the flute; I never imagined then that I would get to join other believers praising in Myanmar. When the students and church members sang and danced in worship, Heaven rang with celebration. Even the little ones younger than 7 years were up front dancing to melodies of victory!

On Saturday we helped chisel bricks to salvage what we could of the school’s decimated prayer house. The authorities have decided to expand the river running behind the school, (after a prophet of Buddha told the chief authority he needed to do this or he would soon lose his power). So, all buildings in the way have been destroyed, including sections of the church and many fruit trees that provided the students with needed nutrients. The believers testified to being discouraged, but not defeated. They are strong and filled with faith in God’s power.

I shared a story with 25 little children on Sunday morning, a story of Jesus as the Shepherd. As I shared I learned so much myself, like I was feeling the Shepherd through child’s eyes. One little boy asked that we all pray for his country, that many would come to believe in this Shepherd. One little girl asked us to pray that she get a cell phone…the reason: so she can call up this Christian man who had visited her family’s home a few years back. That afternoon we went to a youth service, and I was supposed to “preach/share”. I felt that the verses in Revelation 21 and 22 that I had been given before coming to SE Asia this year was for us to proclaim that evening. Here are a few of the verses:

Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away…then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city; also, on either side of the river, the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations….They will see His face, and His name will be written on their foreheads.”

After the service, it’s like a flow of jubilation came over the group and everyone enjoyed games and dancing to music! This was totally unplanned by us, but after it was all over the pastor just couldn’t stop saying how much they had really needed this time to lay aside their troubles and to enjoy! The goodness of God was abundant.

On one of the evenings, Sarah and I were walking in the street looking for a place to have tea, and 3 novice monks approached us asking if they could practice their English. Their “teacher” at their monastery is 28 years old and speaks fluent English from his studies in Thailand. He encourages all his students to talk with foreigners whenever they can and to introduce him to any who may be interested. So the following evening the monks met us at our hotel and escorted us to their monastery, which was in short walking distance away, just through a pagoda (temple) and past a few dogs! When we arrived we were seated at a table, and immediately the teacher came. Our 3 friends and a few others were hovering around us, attentive to any need for fanning or tea refills we might have. The teacher was warm and accepting, and we soon felt welcome and free to share what was in our hearts. They listened, very attentive to our expression of a Creator who loves us. As the teacher shared his ritual and overall aim in life, my heart sank. How could the best thing be to become non-existent? How could they appreciate simplicity and kindness, the goodness of the earth, the importance of love, the cessation of selfish strivings, self-awareness and harmony, and NOT know the Creator for which they were made and in whom all these things make sense? I believe God’s Spirit is stirring hearts of such as these, bringing them increasing discontentment with the way of life that engulfs them and showing them how different is the message of Jesus; I will pray for this result. I bought a small oil painting of some nuns (female “monks”) and have put it above my bed as a prayer visual.

Going North

2006-08-02T16:12:00.000+08:00

Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice, blessed are all those who wait for him.

For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as He hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, YET YOUR TEACHER WILL NOT HIDE HIMSELF ANYMORE, BUT YOUR EYES SHALL SEE YOUR TEACHER. AND YOUR EARS SHALL HEAR A WORD BEHIND YOU, SAYING, “THIS IS THE WAY, WALK IN IT,” WHEN YOU TURN TO THE RIGHT OR WHEN YOU TURN TO THE LEFT…and on every lofty mountain and every high hill there will be brooks running with water, in the day of the great slaughter, when the towers fall. Moreover, the light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold, as the light of seven days, in the day when the Lord binds up the brokenness of his people, and heals the wounds inflicted by his blow…You shall have a song as in the night when a holy feast is kept, and gladness of heart, as when one sets out to the sound of the flute to go to the mountain of the Lord, to the Rock of Israel…Isaiah 30

I believe the people of Myanmar will be heard by the Living God. Many are crying out to know true healing, to live as they are created to live, to worship the real God. There’s so much darkness and depression, and sometimes it seems that it is suffocating the light. But the victory is sure, and the mountains will ring with the sound of rejoicing when the Truth is known.

I’m setting out in a few hours for the north of this country, probably a 15 hour bus ride to reach my destination. Pray that my little team would bring hope to the House of Faith there, as they have recently faced discouragement and literal attack. We will visit with students at a Bible training school. This past week I met “Dr. Bill”, an American surgeon who now lives here and has set up a resource center for Christian books to be published in Burmese. I’ve just come from picking up a “truckload” of good books that can be new resources for the students. They’ve asked us to give several “messages”, “trainings”, etc.; we’re doing a Youth Program, and we also want to help them practically with some renovations.

This past week has been nothing short of interesting- full days, exciting relationships, draining but enjoyable bus and “hylux” journeys, divine appointments.

One of my favorite days was teaching English at the Bible College, which is scheduled for Wednesdays. The students come from many directions; their families are poor, and they cannot afford much, but they are eager. Men and women, age 18-25 live and study at the seminary for 4 years. The first graduating class will matriculate in February 2007. So, we had a lot of fun during our English class forming “committees” and planning their graduation ceremony! They planned the venue, the food, the program and decorations, and they had a lot of fun acting out some of the “special numbers”!

Sarah and I met a monk at a bookstore who invited us to his English class. When we got there we found a room full of monks, about 45 or so because they were on religious holiday. They surrounded us and began asking questions in English. When Sarah’s shoe broke on the way back to the bus stop, one of the monks kindly offered his sandal, though most monks don’t wear shoes! These monks invited us to come sometime to their monastery- I will be reading the book “What the Buddha taught” to learn more of their lifestyle.

My first computer class went well – I never in my life thought I would be teaching computer skills! Yesterday I taught on Excel worksheets. These kids come from the rural areas and travel 2 hours for the class. Some are Christian and some are Buddhists.
They have been a part of our classes since last year and are really committed to learning. It is exciting to see their development. Sometimes when they cannot communicate in English I think it’s good that they can talk in Burmese with each other to clarify the concepts.

To hear the children at the orphanage pray would take your breath away. So mighty is their God. Rejoice, for the kingdom of Heaven is made of such as these. I found some children’s books that I hope to share with them. I just gave a Burmese copy of the gospel for children to the taxi driver who brought me home today. He has a 6 year old girl. Her name is MuMu kan. Please pray that the words in that little book will reach her heart and that her whole family will be saved.

I long to share about my trip north when I return in 2 weeks. Jesu tin baday (“Thank You”) for standing in the gap for us here in Myanmar!

I want to say a HUGE Happy Birthday to my mom, whose birthday is Aug. 2, and to my beautiful twin siblings, Isaiah and Rebekah, who turn 8 years old Aug. 3. I love you guys so much and am so thankful for your lives!

Mingalauba = "Hello"

2006-07-23T17:20:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a week now since I arrived in Yangon. My heart is so glad to have arrived. Already in a few (rather long!) days I've begun to get my bearings and attempted to say some intelligible phrases :-) Sarah, a university student from the UK, joined the field a few days before me after spending 3 weeks in a Cambodian slum. She will be landscaping for a partner organization called Servants to find out if it is viable for them to begin work here in the city. I know I will greatly enjoy her companionship over the next two months.

Sarah and I have already shared many hours together, exploring the city, teaching English in the villages, and discussing what it means to be incarnational. We both have a yearning to "move" into the areas of our focus, to be closer to the people whom we want to know, and so we are seeking to learn as much as we can now. Our team here is small, and we are learning how to come together often and share as one. It's amazing to experience diversity of giftings and viewpoints, with the uniting force being our vision. Sometimes this can be quite superhuman, and really hard! So we seek Vision from Above and strength from His Presence.

Try to imagine this...men in long wrap-around skirts, 1970s cars that are more dilapidated than together, money changers everywhere, lines of monks in orange, and then the bus...well, you just pack in like sardines. Standing, arms up to hold the bars along the ceiling. Sometimes I can't keep from laughing as I'm being jostled to and fro every time we come to a stop and people start squeezing through what gapes of space they can find to make their entrance or exit. Maybe I'll get a picture of it someday, if I can manage to find the space for my camera!

This week I went out to two of the villages in which we work. In one area we have a formal English instruction class with three levels. Sarah and I went around to each class and made introductions. In one class they were reading about a lady in Mississippi who lives in a Boeing 727...You never know what you'll learn in a village in Myanmar! The students were commenting that their whole village could fit inside the plane. Playing scrabble with the students was a riot--they're lovingly competitive, really quite gentle. The computer class is quite advanced, and we will eventually work our way through excel and even cover macros...I'm going to have to study up before class for sure. In another area we are working with a local sewing instructor and have provided a few sewing machines for women to use as they learn and create. We've begun to envision running an English tutorial for the women after the sewing class, but we will have to see if this is possible. Yesterday Sarah and I shared at a youth service, telling them about our lives and desires, seeking to encourage them to depend on grace and take courage. They gave us opportunity to play music - Sarah on keyboard and me on flute. We both felt taken away in the music..."flowing" with emotion.

I've gotta wrap up now and begin the one-hour journey back home...thankful to share these things with you so you can pray.

"Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light." -quoted in this morning's sermon

"Be still and know that I am God. I will do whatever pleases me."
We are so valuable to Him. Look at what He gave for us. His promises are trustworthy.

Images of Myanmar taken by my friend

2006-07-17T00:33:00.000+08:00

Baking Bread with Jesus

2006-07-17T00:06:00.000+08:00

I’ve always loved eating bread, and I began to bake it in college when a good friend taught me her mom’s special oatmeal bread recipe. Every once in awhile the two of us would spend a half day in the commons room at the end of our dorm hall baking loaves of bread to give away, freeze, and of course to eat right then and there! As I began this year’s journey, I had a vision…of baking break with Jesus.

This is what I wrote as I sat at a table set with grapes, juice, and loaves of bread.

“Friend, who finds joy in the bread. We like to find the freshest ingredients, smiling as our excitement grows for what’s ahead…warm aromas of goodness will soon be tasted. Talking…smiling…Reminiscing. Then we will knead. Dough is fun – sticky! Smooth; now more flour. How do we know when it’s ready to sit out on the counter? We’ll know, you guide. We just lay a towel now over the dough ball, and let the yeast work. We must be patient, for the yeast needs time to work. We share photos. Talk about college, past experiences, relationships. Everything I speak of points to the faithfulness of the Baker! Soon comforting smells trickle through the oven’s door sides…light goes on to tell us how high the loaf has risen. We love this sight – thankful for the gift of Light right in the oven, even in the hottest part!...a few more minutes are needed, for the center of the loaf is not quite “sturdy”. Oh, the anticipation of bringing that loaf from the heat and tasting the succulent results! Then the cooling racks do their part. How fun it is to be with you, Jesus! Why did you come and make this possible? How could you dare to search me out? Why give me your passion for Bread? I want to bake again and again together.

As I sit here with this vision of making bread with you, I realize that You were my dough, pressed down, crushed, bearing the punching of my sin. You withstood extreme temperatures, heart of fire, isolation from the One you are in. Because of me. For me. You Rose, my Bread of Heaven. I am unworthy to have your companionship at this table. Only through your blood can I make bread with you, my Savior. The blood that cleanses my hands for the dough. The blood that invites me to stay in your house, to have access to your oven, to wait with you. The blood that covers me with your banner of Joy. I will be filled with your satisfying presence all the days of my life.”

I had this vision of making bread with Jesus at the January GO Conference in Germany as I was sitting at a table set with grapes, juice, and loaves of bread.

I understood more of its meaning during this past week while I was in Malaysia at OM’s Out of the Comfort Zone conference. I see that it’s not merely a picture of me working in the kitchen with Jesus to make delicious-tasting bread for the two of us to enjoy. It is so much fuller. I enjoy precious moments when I am alone with Jesus, because He has deigned to come near to me, a sinner and call me His beloved. But it doesn’t end there. The Destination Banquet is a FEAST with a HUGE GUESTLIST, a celebration fit for the Son of a King!…This past week at OCZ we looked at Jesus’ journey from Galilee to Jerusalem recorded in Luke’s gospel. He went resolutely, setting his face to go though he would die. He told us to follow, to set our hands to the plow and not look back. To find the people he has already been preparing and spend time with them, sitting in their houses and eating, inviting them to come along to the Great Banquet. To have eyes that see what He sees. When we’re struck by the grace that transforms our lives we can be moved with compassion for those who don’t yet know, who haven’t tasted the goodness of the freshly baked bread. The book of Romans, which talks most about grace, was written to spur the Church in Rome on to missions. As we go to mission, we are compelled by finding what God’s grace really is, His love, who He is. I realized that the vision I had in January of baking bread with Jesus was speaking to the call to missions – the motivation and compulsion to see the yeast of the Kingdom work through the dough of the lands comes from spending time with and truly knowing my Bread, who bore my shame and now feeds me with His daily grace.

Many times this year I have seen that I don’t have the love, the resources, the strength, the knowledge to give generously in mission. Sometimes I don’t even pray for these things because I’m not moved by the payment covering the depth of my sin. Then His love breaks through and I feel the Spirit he gave. I see Him as He is, the Great King, who loves to give, who knows our needs before we ask, who finds it His extreme joy, glory, and pride to answer our prayer for forgiveness and compassion.

And what does Luke 14:15ff mean? There is to be a great wedding banquet and the father is doing the inviting. The invited guests make excuses, so the father creates a new guest list – the poor, the blind, the lame, the crippled and dirty, the vile. He cries, “For the marriage of my son this place must be packed, for we will have the joy and glory of a full house.

As Jesus walked the road to Jerusalem, he was feasting with people – the Pharisees even called him a drunk and a glutton for such practice (Lk. 7:34). He feasted with us though we were dead in our trespasses, and now we should follow our Lord and invite those on our road to the Feast; we are assured there will be no places left empty – every nation, language, tribe will be represented.

Luke 13:20. To what can I compare the kingdom of God? It is like leaven that a woman took and hid in three measures of flour, until it was all leavened. Yeast through all the dough – that’s what Jesus is doing today; spreading the Kingdom through all nations, bringing the yeast of the Kingdom into every part of the dough. People of God pray, God takes the dough and kneads, at times seemingly with great force (e.g. 2004 Tsunami). God is making sure that every people hear the invitation – wars, famine, etc. happen so that we can take the invitation.
So we invite, but we also SEARCH. On the road, Jesus was looking for the lost. He welcomed the sinners and ate with them, showing that he totally accepted them as they were. Often we want people to change their behavior before we accept them…we expect them to become like us, clean up their life, etc…Jesus was the other way around – he ate with the people, had relationship. Grace comes first. I can do no other but reflect on my own life and ask, “Who have I visited? Who have I welcomed into my home/life?” I see that more often I invite the lovely, the pleasant, the “safe” into my inner circle. But I want to be like my Redeemer, who welcomed the ones who knew their need and made them his trusted companions. I confess my pride and ask for grace to show true hospitality. Remember the son who left home, and just yearned to eat the pig food at his father’s place…how his dad picked up his robe and humiliated himself and RAN to him when he caught site of him?! Who does our Father bring to the Banquet of His Son? Not the rich or the respected simply for their status, but the homeless, who will find their home with him. The Father had to be disgraced, the Son had to leave His glory, be spat upon, insulted, hung up for people to mock, so that we could have the honor of being invited to the feast. Jesus said that we need to take responsibility, repent, forgive, apologize, make right was we put wrong. Being a people of grace does not mean we deny truth. We are a people of truth and grace because our God is holy and merciful. As Jesus traveled the road to Jerusalem, he invited the guests to know this love, he searched for sinners, he looked for the lost. He calls us to do the same.

Journeying...

2006-07-07T19:44:00.000+08:00

...The opening of the kindy was "protected" and wonderful...

...It was hard to leave Aceh...

...but now that the decision has been made I am ready - really eager to be there (Myanmar)

...I've been working in Singapore HQ since Sunday...

...saw pictures of my family from a friend's stay with them...shed some tears. when I saw how they've grown (the kids that is :-)..

...leaving for Malaysia tomorrow morning - Out of the Comfort Zone conference...

...then to Myanmar.

Read an article last night by Servants International Coordinator, Craig: He was saying that "Community is born in Solitude." I did a double-take because community and solitude have captured my thoughts for many months. Picture a tire: the rubber meets the road at the places of impact, ministry, "outflow". The spokes are the support - such as friends and fellowship. The hub is the place of intimacy with and knowledge of God. Craig was saying that if we don't have solitude with the Lord, then we will inevitably be looking for the things from Him that we crave (for example, unconditional love) in ministry or relationships. We can know, love, minister, receive in community when we worship (know, love, receive from and obey) our Father, Savior, and Companion. So, Community flows out of our being with God. For me, I am seeing how my inclination is to delve into "togetherness" with people, to want to be known and connected to support and ministry without spending myself quietly, passionately and submissively in time with the Lord. Gently He leads me, sometimes forcefully like a ton of bricks on my chest (that's what its felt like this week)...He's always working to reveal and redeem the broken and confused ways we live. Think about it, often we grow stronger in knowledge and compassion (not simple feeling or pity, but real strong love and action) when we're not even with others. This is one of the greatest things I'm learning this year.

some neighborhood happenings

2006-06-26T16:44:00.000+08:00

Went to the barracks this week…so fun to help my friend, Santy, teach English to her 4 faithful students. They have been learning WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY, and HOW words and associated phrases…The girls invited us back to their place to hang out last Saturday night. We walked ("jalan-jalan") around the barracks (in the mud, in the dark!), singing songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, London Bridges Falling Down, Someone's In the Kitchen with Dina (a classic of my mom's!), and any other songs the night air stirred up!

Sam (the 9 year old son of my Singaporean colleagues) and I were walking through one of the neighborhoods near our house the other evening, and we turned down a new, tree-lined road. All of a sudden several (we’re talking 20 plus) kids and young people came out and greeted us. They asked if we could come back and teach English, so, the next day we carried our whiteboard and pens with us and ventured out on the 10 minute walk to where they live. An older woman in the neighborhood opened her home up for our lessons! We didn’t really know how our new teaching venture would fare, but the kids are SO eager to learn English that all they could do at the conclusion of our first class was urge “besok, besok”, meaning “tomorrow, tomorrow”. So, today was our third class, and we’ve covered some good ground…How are you? I’m fine. It’s nice to meet you. What is your name? I am ___ years old….From age 4 to 14, they come faithfully before we arrive and are seated on the floor with their pencils and UNICEF-sponsored notebooks in hand. Their favorite part of “class” is when we sing “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes (knees and toes!)”…the song gradually gets faster and faster with each repetition until the kids just burst out in laughter…Today about half the class accompanied Sam and me back to our house… tomorrow we’re all going to play futbol (soccer).

By the way, is anyone keeping up with the World Cup? It’s a huge social event here; people stay up almost all night to watch the games! There’s a theory circulating that our constant power cuts are the government’s way of cutting down on the nightly noise pollution from the cheering futbol fans (just a theory (smile!)) ...these are some of my friends living out their dream of playing in the Aceh Cup!

The opening of the kindy is this Sat...three goats have been purchased for the celebration meal…banners are being designed by the community committee…final touches are being made to the building and program…should be exciting! Dawn is coming in to run a training session for the teachers this Wed. We are all looking forward to having the MTI directors here…

There are two frogs jumping across my living room floor right now, headed for my feet!

Ya Abba Bapa ini aku anakmu

2006-06-23T16:10:00.000+08:00

...lines from an Indonesian song our language teacher taught us last night....literally "Here I am Father, your child."

Father’s Day was a few days ago…I got to talk with my Dad! He called me right before heading to Atlanta for a national church conference. Our phone connection was bad, but my heart was so thankful for just the opportunity to tell him I love him -just a taste of the fullness of love of our Heavenly Father, the Almighty yet so-close God who loves us. I was listening to a recording from IHOP’s Bob Hartley with a few friends here in Aceh the other week, and here’s what I heard …and am enjoying praying …

_________________________________________________________________
Approachable God, who redeems situations;
Passionate, pursuing, loving God.

You see the multitudes and have compassion; pluck me out in my wrong guiding of my life (when I say “Yes” to my potential and “No” to your presence. You let me be alone, silent and draw near to you; You are so thoughtful; You’ve been a friend and you loved me first; You are abundantly available in your love.

Psalm 56 This I know, this God is for me. I turned away from Him, but nothing can separate me from the love of my God!

You look past my faults (I Cor 13). Ps. 149 says you are for us, not against us. Song of Solomon exclaims how your heart dances at a glimpse of me. Areas, buildings are redeemed for your purposes. Beyond my ability or wisdom, you bring opportunities from your heart for me. You are graciously compassionate, the forgiving, drawing near God.
Peter denied you 3 times and you pursued him and made him the Rock of your people. When I’ve hoarded resources, acted out of fear, your generosity and benevolence continued to flow. You are quick to restore, you’re the loving, reconciling God.

You’ve forgiven us when we’ve said we’re not enough. When we stare at our condition (broken and sinful) rather than our position (in Christ as your redeemed children), when we’re more impressed by our sin than your rich love. You more intimately know us than we know ourselves, and we want to know you intimately. We want to love you.

There is nothing we could do to remove your love. Life habits-addictions: you reconcile and restore. I always thought those things were my plight, but I said “I’m sorry” and you promise that as I hold to you, you make things beautiful in your time. You are the Very Near God in your love; Show us your face. Shepherding God, who brings contentment (Ps. 23:1). YOU satisfy; there’s nothing else that satisfies.

My house, my pilgrimage ~ I love them because they are an intimate pathway into your presence. You have been drawing me the whole time. I am waiting on you; you make things beautiful JUST IN TIME. You teach us that we can trust your perfect leadership. You guide us uniquely to enlarge our hearts. You guide us. You’re the Protector. You protect our interest and our dreams.

Ex. 15:13 In your strength you will guide us. Your sheep hear your voice. You guide us in our priorities. You meet us where we live and in our various needs. You’ve guided us in dealing with people to grow our hearts. You are the nurturer feeder of life with hope. You don’t treat us in our depravity. You lift my head and nurture me when I feel broken….healing, refreshing…bringing fresh faith. We don’t have to carry our burdens; we cast them on you, the Burden-bearing God. Not out of debt, but by your character do you act. You deliver- take us out and set us in fresh fields to prosper.

You are my best friend. You are generous in all your ways; better than life. You treat us better than we deserve. You’re the Building God; You’re the Miracle-working God who loves to bring something out of nothing. You are perfectly competent. Awesome, Beautiful, Comforting, Dad, Vivacious, Full of Zeal, Living and Active. Your mercies are new every morning. You move the boundaries of nations so that Christ will be All in All. You are perfect. Mt. 14 describes you as the Wounded Healer. In John 7 you declare yourself as the Living Water. You knew your life would be taken. When we denied you, you loved us.

By the Light of YOUR Presence, in the nearness of You, I live. You see in to my deepest parts. You give me the most precious gift of all – Yourself. You give an invitation to intimacy so I can commune with you. They will know your love by our worship, for your presence is upon us. We are anointed in the Spirit (Eph. 2:10).
___________________________________________________________________
We can claim these realities in Jesus, which are guaranteed by the character of God revealed in His Word. What a powerful language of connection with our God, fit for Father’s Day– every day is Father’s Day with our God!

2006-06-12T19:30:00.000+08:00

Spirit of burning — [IHOP-KC phrase] This is a cycle of maintaining a passionate desire for Jesus so that you are in a place of emotional pain whenever He is absent; hope and excited expectancy because of the knowledge that He loves to come to the hungry and thirsty heart; real experiential encounters with His beauty and presence causing you to have an even greater intense desire to be close to Jesus (Matthew 22:37; Luke 24:13-32)

From International House Of Prayer’s website: www.ihop.org

CHICKEN FEET!

2006-06-06T20:04:00.000+08:00

Yep, that's what I ate for dinner yesterday! Ever tried them? They're "gelatinous!" (like Jello)...

Method of Consumption: Put the whole foot in your mouth and use your tongue to extract the bones; swallow the skin and tendons; spit out the bones!

Actually, the Chinese cuisine accepts a lot of "parts" that others reject. According to my friends, that's why it has been called "poor man's food". The Chinese have learned the art of taking the parts that others toss and making them into delicious delicacies, or at least energy-supplying morsels. Maybe we should learn a lesson in valuing our resources? Well, it's neat to see how people live and to learn about God's creation through them. I will never look at the foot of a chicken in the same way. [Reminder: please pray against bird flu!]

I'm sitting in the Aceh e-Learning Centre, an initiative of the Taiwanese government to provide free internet access to Aceh. They are hoping to help the people of Aceh improve their computer/internet skills and develop their resources...meeting some neat guys from Taiwan.

Praise the Lord for a wonderful team time last night...things have been so busy, even stressful with the amount of work to do...but last night, just sitting together and crying out to God, listening to "Depth of Mercy", "You Ran to Me" (this is the theme line...I'm not sure of the actual title; I usually call this song "Prodigal's Father"), "Who Am I?" (Casting Crowns), Hearts of Servants (Shane & Shane), "Sometimes A Light Surprises" (Indelible Grace). The ministry of music blesses. I often spend my free moments with the guitar. My flute is back in S'pore, but I'll be playing it during the conference I'm going to attend the second week of July in Malaysia...I'll tell you more about that conference ("Out of the Comfort Zone") soon...

I hope to post as often as possible during this month of June, esp. as I'm not sure how much access I will have to communication during the second half of the year. Governments are particular about what information they allow in and out of their "borders".

Yarn Dolls and DREAMS

2006-06-05T12:26:00.000+08:00

Meet some of my neighborhood friends here. The YMCA kids I taught last fall in Quakertown made some really cute yarn dolls for the children I would meet in Asia... Jamie, Lauren, Kaylee, Caitlyn, Gabby, the kids here LOVE the dolls you made for them :-)

Please pray that I would be more fervent in prayer. Pray that God would grant me a heart of a servant and teach me to dream. Ever thought of dreaming as a spiritual discipline? The pastor yesterday challenged my thoughts on this! And prayer is the "dream incubator". Sometimes God gives us a dream, and then it seems like it dies. We experience delays, difficulties, confusion. Nehemiah mourned and fasted and prayed days on end when he had the dream to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. God moves us from a state of independence (also called sin) to a state of dependence on him (funny how this is the opposite of what human parents do with their children!) in prayer and life. He is jealous for us. He pursues us that we would rely on Him fully. Dreams are a way that God stretches us spiritually, for we are left with no other option than to depend wholly on God for their result. Often God gives us a mere glimpse so that we are motivated to go under His discipline. Our dreams might be 1000 miles away! They might seem impossible or far-fetched. John Maxwell said "The power of a vision causes you to give up today for what you can have tomorrow." This is the pursuit I long to develop - steadfast sacrifice and dependence on the Lord to see and follow His heart.

So Dream On, fellow travelers! and PRAY with fervency!

"Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree (cause it to whither and never bear fruit), but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' it will happen. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." -Jesus

2006-06-04T02:10:00.000+08:00

This country has seen many disasters ...Lord of all creation...

of water, earth and sky...the heavens are YOUR tabernacle...

Why?...glory to the Lord on High

Why does the earth quake? Why does the thunder roll?
Why do the floods come? Why does the lava flow?

We are longing for redemption. Come, Lord. Maranatha!

I am safe...thank you for your concern and prayers. Mom told me friends have called the house, Renee - thank you! so I thought I better post to let you know I'm okay. Jokjakarta is actually quite a ways away (over 1,000 miles from Banda Aceh), so we didn't even feel the tremors. But, many from here are going to Central Java to help. The death toll is still rising (latest is 6,000 plus) because there is not enough medical treatment available. Please pray for the people hurt by the earthquake. Pray for their homes, their health, their souls.

Finding...

2006-05-27T17:34:00.000+08:00

NEMO!

Yes...Nemo, Dori, and Friends have found their way to Banda Aceh.

Let me show you the mural!!! The inside is complete - lots of colors and water life. About the only hitch was the moment I stepped "foot-long" onto a rusty nail - so thankful I got my tetanus shot before I left the country! Nancy and I painted 3 days straight, about 30 hours total - bending, kneeling, all the while talking or silently reflecting...occasionally stretching for "fresh air" breaks...enjoying the swifts of coolness from the fan when they reached us and listening to some Kenny G and Keith Green on our battery-powered tape player. Painting can be quite exhausting and at the same time therapuetic !

We were treated to fresh "iu" (pronounced eey-oo) by some friends in the village. This baby coconut water is very "cooling" according to the Chinese categorization of foods....so refreshing!

I plan to finish painting the outside of the Kindergarten on Monday by adding a few more water animals and the words "Tunas Harapan", which mean 'Seed of Hope'. Tunas Harapan is the phrase written in the Indonesian Bible when God promised Abraham many descendants.

Friends, thank you for praying for me and encouraging me in my return to Banda Aceh. I feel somehow more prepared for life here this time. Just like my heart is settled on it.

How beautiful is Psalm 23 from Sorina (you can read it by clicking on the comments section of the last post). I was reading in Luke 15 about how our Shepherd will go to the ends to find us, and when he does, he will gently thrust us over his shoulders to carry us on, and He's rejoicing!

It is such a great feeling to accomplish something so tangible as painting a picture. I've been learning much in the last few months about waiting, listening, being, examining, changing, resting, healing...but this feeling of completing a task is something I haven't savored lately, and it is sweet. I'm now busily visiting wood and metal shops to order furniture for the kindy...getting estimates and even designing some pieces! Whew...so many things from school days coming together in practical ways: painting, measuring, even playing volleyball :-) Last night I went to the military track (which is often teaming with people in the evenings) and joined a group of peers playing volleyball. A lot of them are on staff with Save the Children and get together every Friday to play v-ball. It's so energizing, and I hope to join them on Fridays!

I have attached some photos of the Thailand retreat to the Post entitled, "To Thailand With the Shepherd". Hope to send some more photos of Aceh soon...the connection speed here makes it a little challenging ;-) - Please pray for the Tunas Harapan (Seed of Hope) kindergarten, which will open July 1st.

Who Holds?

2006-05-22T01:37:00.000+08:00

I'm leaving in a few hours for Indonesia. Ever so grateful for your covering. Discernment, Discipline and Courage are my great needs. Will be doing a spiritual warfare study on my own. Learning a ton about that! Likely painting a Finding Nemo scene - God has supplied a graphic design artist to assist me--huge gift to me! We'll be busy with the mural this week, as she can only stay until Thursday. Then, much logistical work to do...ordering proper furniture/supplies to wrap up the kindergarden before the opening ceremony with local officials and community members. Wanting right now to be with all those dear to me, esp. as emotions of "leaving" flood my heart (Jordan just left for States a few hours ago). Knowing that God holds.

He will guard and keep us until the Day! Be encouraged that He is with us and that we can draw near to Him with our whole selves. Why hold back? The Anchor Holds.

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

2006-05-14T15:39:00.000+08:00

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy! And to all those who have ever nurtured someone as their child...Your love and time have blessed us.

Mom, you are so special to me!

Wow. My last post was pretty intense. Not many comments - maybe there were things that I said and quoted that were extreme and troubled you. I think it's good to clarify that I personally am not condemning wealth all together or advocating a complete socialistic structure. I genuinely believe God loves to bless people with possessions and resources for a great purpose to enjoy and to steward. We just must be ever so sensitive to the calling of the Spirit to fight against our tendency to hold earthly comfort as more fulfilling than Jesus and to overlook injustice, and we must be disciplined to work toward kingdom treasure, rooted in relationship. Often we are blinded by our world and our own unwillingness to surrender. I struggle with my own responsibility in this, for my flesh wars against the things of the Spirit. It's kinda different to process some of these things "out loud" through a blog and to share with thoughts as I struggle with them, and though I can't possibly share all things, esp. as they are happening, sometimes there is opportunity and I am compelled to write. I really do invite your thoughts; I want to learn from you and receive your honest words of challenge or agreement. What has the Holy Spirit shown you? In the last post I made a comment about my many years of Christian schooling. Please let me express how grateful I am for my beloved parents' efforts to send me through Christian schooling and for the invaluable instruction of faithful men and women over the years. Learning history, science, math, philosophy, religion...from professors who know God and are burdened for His glory and my growth in Him has shaped my heart for life. My reflection was actually dealing with a realization and confession of my own lack of integrating the things I am coming to know of the heart of God with my "every day" decisions and lifestyle....

but we are not crushed by guilt when we find things that we need to change. We have a King who has made whole what was broken. In this life we are always growing, always learning new things in the journey with Our Maker, Redeemer, and Friend. I should never be content with the present state of my obedience or passion. Yet I always will rest in the provision through Jesus, who has cleansed me and made me part of His royal priesthood.

You are My Hiding Place

I find you in the secret place

I find you on the mountain

I find you in the early hours of my day,

I find you when I'm waiting

I find you when I'm in Your Word

I find you when I'm talking to you when I pray

Create in me a clean heart

As I come away with you

Wash away all of my stains

And restore to me the joy I have in you

You are my hiding

You are my hiding place

song by Joe Pringle, Christian City Worship 2005 (Australia)

This last week I have been worshipping with 10,000 young Singaporeans at City Harvest Church. LEARNING TO PRAY IN THE SPIRIT for the victory of the Lord in our world!

...It was a difficult week...It was a week of victory...I'll explain with great joy in the Lord...

MTI has asked me to go back to Banda Aceh to take over for Jordan who will be returning to the States this week. With Jordan leaving there is a great need for supervising the final touches to the kindergarden before school starts on July 1 (ordering inside equipment and the outside playground, landscaping, finishing the mural (yeah!), etc. From my home in America, I told the Lord I was willing, willing to go to the uttermost parts, willing to give him my youth, willing. But, it's not so easy to move forward when I've seen the place and realize that unless I cling to Jesus and follow Him, it will be a burden too great to bear. This time, this trip, this request of MTI, can be said to be "where the rubber meets the road" for me in walking with Jesus (a phrase that 4 people on separate occasions spoke to me this week). I took a few days of being still (this can be one of my greatest challenges!), quieting myself to be with the Lord and to listen. My questions to him were like... But Lord, is it "wise" to return given that I've returned from BA twice now to be hospitalized? Oh, someday I'll have to tell you the story of "trying out" the hospitals in BA!!! :-) Banda Aceh- my last days there were spent with fever and rashes. Banda Aceh- it can be so oppressive. Banda Aceh - I only know a few people there and there's nothing much to do, nowhere to go. I've just begun staying with a believing Chinese family in Singapore last week, and it is so comfortable to be here; I feel at home; There are good things in being here - I'm learning a lot about intercession and enjoying fellowship with teens who are hungry to be real with Jesus. I would only be in Aceh for a month over (Singlish meaning "a little over a month"), then going onto Myanmar for what is likely to be the remainder of the year. That's so much transition, Lord! And for some reason, I feel ready for Myanmar, like being there for 6 months min. and working on learning Burmese to communicate and build relationships is so appealing. But Aceh? I don't think I'm afraid of the physical hazards (e.g. yesterday brought a 5 point over earthquake in Aceh). No, my fear has been for my emotions, my comfort, a fear of loneliness and insecurity. Maybe the work will be too difficult to do alone? Maybe I'll be so bored and just weary with no one to share with? ...and the victory came after this battle in my spirit. Jesus wants to take me to a place of further dependence on and intimacy with Him for my needs. I love people, and building community, and sharing from the heart, and many of these are spirit-born desires, but I also can get caught up with human relationships and neglect my Jesus. The Lord has for me to grow to be with Him, to learn from Him, to worship and share with Him. I now am ready, and excited! I still anticipate difficulties, but I am awaiting a fuller knowledge of the presence of Jesus with me as I'm in Aceh. And, I think this is preparation for more to come, for if I go to Myanmar there will be even more limited access to communication. The other night Jordan shared with me a little of her experience of being alone in Aceh last year. She said, "It's like when there's no one else to talk with, you just have to have Jesus there with you, to sit with, to share with, to do all things together."

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

- Paul and Timonthy, in Philippians 4:19

And one of the most amazing things this week was tasting what Spirit-led prayer can be!!! For years I've longed to cry out to the Father with His heartbeat, to really speak the things on His heart, to loose the heavenly inheritance of the kingdom on earth...it was Friday night and I was with around 10,ooo other believers - picture an auditorium filled with people crying out, arms upraised and sometimes passionately pleading, all engaged in a great love language war cry for the God who Hears to answer.

It's beyond description...I could see Aceh and cry out for God's heart for the people, I knew the Spirit was praying and my mind was fully engaged. Rather than feeling disjointed geographically or topic-wise, as is often the case when I sit down to pray, I felt like I was flying across the globe and could be anywhere at anytime, depending on where the Spirit led for intercession. A mature woman said these words to me, "We must ask the Lord to guide our tongue and be self-controlled to surrender totally. When our prayers are answered we know it was not our own doing or words, but the words of the Spirit. The enemy cannot understand prayer in the spirit and so wants to deceive us and render us ineffective." Many of my brothers and sisters here in Asia have walked in this prayer life much longer than me, and I feel like a baby in talking with our Father. It is awesome to know that our Lord hears us at all times, when we're young and when we're old, when we speak and when we don't, when we're afraid and when we're bold, when we're contemplative and when we're boisterous...The Holy Spirit is calling us to greater things and He is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in us. Prayer gives birth to great things, and they can happen suddenly! Pray for revival across the globe. We have the authority.

Guess what? I love learning to play the guitar! Worshipping in song is unlike anything else. So far my guitar "lessons" (generously donated by talented friends and teammates) have been very "international" - Indonesia, Cambodia, Singapore and Thailand...and I've found that the chord fingerings are quite universal! Hopefully they'll be a guitar teacher in Myanmar (and a guitar!). How incredible it is to be able to sing and play at the same time - (something I could never do with the flute!). Michaela, Mom said you played your flute so beautifully at your school's concert! Wish I could have been there, sweet sis. I'm so proud of you!

They shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion,

and they shall be radiant over the goodness of the Lord...

Jeremiah 31:12

Thank you for praying for me, friends. My body and spirit are sustained because you pray. It is a privilege to be here and to share with you through the distance.

Moldy Soles

2006-05-02T22:44:00.000+08:00

My shoes are rotting...I stole them from the poor. Mold is plaguing my 3 pairs of chacos that are siting outside the door of my house. In an equatorial climate, leather that's not worn doesn't stand a chance against the stuff. Guys, this is radical. I am so absorbed, so steeped in my Western lies of power and comfort that I don't even know what this means. I don't know how to love my neighbor, to know the poor, to be real - but I have been given a new heart (Ezekiel), and I want to know authentic community - globally incarnational. Okay, I'm back in Singapore, very thankful for the retreat- enjoyed meeting and learning from teammates but I was convicted by my lack of discipline to break away from the crowds and run away with my Lord, esp. when He called...incredibly challenged now about direction- spent tonight talking with Craig, the Greenfields' son, who works with Servants. If you can, look at some of the news articles on their website: http://www.servantsasia.org/news, esp. http://www.servantsasia.org/news.asp?number=153. "Downward mobility in an upscale world." How?

Shain Claiborn describes me...

"Not long ago, I sat and talked with some very wealthy Christians about what it means to be the church and to follow Jesus. One business man confided, "I, too, have been thinking about following Christ and what it means. so I had this made." He pulled up his shirt sleeve to reveal a bracelet, engraved with W.W.J.D. (What Would Jesus Do?). It was custom-made of 24 karat gold.

Maybe each of us can relate to this man - both in his earnest desire to follow Jesus and his distorted execution of that desire, so bound up in the materialism of our culture. It is difficult to learn to live the downward mobility of the gospel in this age of wealth. For the most part, those of us who are rich never meet those of us who are poor. Instead, nonprofit organizations serve as brokers between the two in a booming business of poverty management.

I believe that the great tragedy of the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor, but that they do not know the poor. Yet if we are called to live the new community for which Christ was crucified, we cannot remain strangers to one another. Jesus demands that we live in a very different way." - from article written by Shane Claiborn 3/2/2006 http://www.servantsasia.org/news.asp?number=153.

Friends, I've spent 24 years in easy wealth, and I've been hardened by pride; I've spent my whole life receiving the lies that I had to be powerful to survive, that I had to be tough and maintain my security in image, that I was entitled to achievement, that my intentions were pure and that I was "right on track" for purposeful living. Most of my life has been Christian education: 4 yrs at Christian high school and 4 yrs at Christian college. I've been surrounded by people who adore me and protect me from criticism........I really have felt genuine love from spiritual friends. My educational training really did teach me good things. But, my sin so often prevents me from integrating the faith I've been given through grace and the radical life I'm called to live with Jesus. I am seeking repentance and direction for the steps ahead. Please pray for the Shepherd to reveal and a heart bent on emptying myself.

Here's what it looked like for Claiborn and a group of his friends...
"About five years ago, I became a part of a community called the simple way, a group of Christians literally born out of the wreckage of the church. Dozens of homeless families and children had moved into St. Edward's, a cavernous, abandoned Catholic church in one of the most struggling neighborhoods of Philadelphia. A small group of us who were students at Eastern College, a suburban Christian school, decided to move in with them as a gesture of solidarity. From that initial step, one miracle followed another as those families mentored us in community, worship, and love. Eventually, we settled in a rowhouse in Kensington, a few blocks from St. Edward's. It is the poorest (but most beautiful!) district in Pennsylvania. There is no place we'd rather call home. Here, we play and dance. We plant gardens. We feed people. We cry. We have a community store. We help kids with homework. We live, and we spend our lives joining folks in poverty as they struggle to end it. Because we know that we cannot end poverty without ending wealth, we also spend time talking with Christian communities about our work and hosting visitors.

Clairborn says, "I believe all our "programs" should have their genesis in true relationship. At our house, we tutor - but we did not start by deciding to do a tutoring program. We simply fell in love with the kids who needed help with their homework. We feed people - but we did not begin with a decision to start a feeding program. We simply fell in love with our neighbors, and they were hungry. - Claiborn article

Brothers and sisters in the US, Philippines, Congo, Belgium, France, Turkey and ends of the earth, I'm convinced that True relationship is the cry of the Spirit, the way of our Savior, the call of the Church today.

More excerpts from Claiborn: If we are to truly be the church, poverty must be a face we recognize as our own kin. Several years ago, I attended a protest against sweatshops where the organizers had not invited the typical rally speakers - lawyers, activists, advocates. Instead, they brought kids from the sweatshops. A child from Indonesia pointed to his face."I got this scar when my master lashed me for not working hard enough. When it bled, he did not want me to stop working or to ruin the cloth, so he took a lighter and burned it shut. I got this scar making stuff for you." I was suddenly consumed with the overwhelming reality of the suffering body of Christ. Jesus now bore not just nail marks and scars from thorns, but a gash down his face. How could I possibly follow Jesus and buy anything from that master?

If we are content with discipleship that ends merely with generosity, we still serve money. Generosity is a beautiful response, but we should not confuse it with love. Generosity is merely what is expected; what is required is to return that which has been stolen. God did not create some of us rich and others of us poor.

Basil the Great, writing in the fourth century, put it this way: "When someone strips a man of his clothes, we call him a thief. And one who might clothe the naked and does not - should not he be given the same name? The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry; the coat in your wardrobe belongs to the naked; the shoes you let rot belong to the barefoot; the money in your vaults belongs to the destitute."

Instead of living out this alternative vision, the church has been content to be a broker between the rich and poor. Both those trapped in poverty and those trapped in riches view the church as a distribution center, a place where the poor come to get stuff and the rich come to dump stuff. No radical new community is formed.In this model, both go away satisfied (the rich feel good, the poor get fed) - but neither goes away transformed. They do not join together to discover a new way of living.

Functionally, many nonprofits act as brokers between the rich and the poor. They facilitate the exchange of goods and services, putting plenty of professionals in the middle to guarantee that the rich do not have to face the poor and that power does not shift. Rich and poor are kept in separate worlds. Charity does not feed fundamental change.Brokering poverty also seduces Christians into being gatekeepers to power. Our progressive movements are haunted by the temptation to facilitate power.

Those of us who yearn for the kingdom of God must follow in the steps of Jesus. Jesus was not "in charge" of the poor. He was poor. The message of Christ from the manger to the cross is that the world is conquered through weakness, through leastness, through struggle - not from the top, but from the bottom.The people wanted a mighty Messiah. They got a baby refugee. They wanted a powerful king to take over Rome. They got a wandering homeless man. He could have saved the world with his mighty power, but he did it through his ridiculous love. The power of God lies in the brokenness of Jesus: naked, cursed, spit upon, with birds picking at his flesh as he died the rotten death of a criminal.

The great temptation of the church, and of every believer, is the offer Satan made to Jesus in the desert: to win the world with power. But power will not end poverty. We must discover another way of living.Jesus did not set up a program, but rather modeled a way of living that incarnated the reign of God. That reign did not spread through organizational establishments or structural systems. It spread through touch, through breath, through life. It spread through people who discovered love.

I am haunted by the command of Jesus to love our neighbor as ourselves. I struggle because I sleep in a house while my neighbor sleeps in a cardboard box; I eat twice a day while my neighbor hasn't eaten once. I draw strength from following Jesus in community. I live with people who, if they pass someone with a worse pair of shoes, have taken their shoes off and switched; people who have quietly handed over winter jackets to someone they met on the street without a coat.This is the reckless love of Jesus, which teaches us to see the connections between our wealth and our neighbor's poverty.

The love of Jesus will teach us another way of doing life, a way that will bring God's reign to earth as it is in heaven. The reign of God is not for the future. It is something we live today. Jesus reminds us that it is easy to love people who are just like us: "Even idolators do that" (Matt. 5:47). We are called to love those who hate us. Love those who create poverty, and love those who are trapped in it. See each of them in yourself - the same blood and tears. We are all capable of the same evil, and we have potential for the same good. As one believer said, "In the oppressed I recognize my own face, and in the hands of the oppressor I recognize my own hands." From addicts I learn of my addiction, and from the saints I learn of my holiness.

The God of love and the love of God know no bounds. The unending love of Jesus teaches revolutionaries to love police officers, anarchists to love politicians, vegetarians to love meat-eaters, peacemakers to love soldiers. This is the love that makes us the church. Ultimately, only this radical love of Jesus can end the poverty-wealth dichotomy. When the rich meet the poor, together they will end wealth. When the poor meet the rich, together they will end poverty.

People do not get crucified for charity. People are crucified for living out a love that disrupts the social order, that calls forth a new world. People are not crucified for helping poor people. People are crucified for joining them. [This article by Shane Claiborn appeared in The Other Side, Nov/Dec 2000. and excerpts here were taken from the Servants' website]

"Awake, O sleeper;

and arise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you."

Ephesians 5:14

to Thailand with the Shepherd

2006-04-22T15:37:00.000+08:00

The Lord is so good. He has told us, "I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36

He acts for His holiness to be known.

These are the days of Ezekiel...

I am headed to Thailand today. Really looking forward to meeting some of the other MTI staff who live in other countries. We are going to have sessions in the mornings to be encouraged and we are going to take time to relax. Sometimes of late I have been discouraged and ask, "What am I actually contributing here?" But the Lord is faithful to show me in the moments of rest, waiting, that I need to seek Him for every direction, in weakness and in strength. I'm not sure what the next season holds - I may be in Singapore for awhile. Whereever I am, I want to know the Lord more. I am thankful He is able to give us a heart for Him. It is good to wait with Him.

"For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep and will seek them out....I will feed them with good pasture, and on the mountain heights of Israel shall be their grazing land...I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord GOD." Ez. 34

Latest trip to Banda Aceh

2006-04-22T13:08:00.000+08:00

Fishing trip: [Left] Diana, Sam and Jordan; [Right] Some fishing scenery!, [Bottom] Patrick and Pitter getting the rods ready

These are some little kids in our neighborhood, playing in puddles! We've participated in some creative recreational activities with these little guys, like broom baseball!

Garut Village, location of the kindergarten I was painting

Lena, my painting companion!

This kid in the tree was so good at climbing to get coconuts!

During my lunch break I took a stroll with Lena in the village. These kids showed me their little pet bird.

There is a kids' program that is run by an Indonesian Christian family: the girls are practicing a traditional Acehnese dance.

Pray for the school in Garut village that will open in July and for the community to know the true God!

Cambodia Kindergarten

2006-04-22T12:54:00.000+08:00

[Left] Jordan and Dave at the site of the kindergarten [Right] Kampong Speu, 2 hours from Phnom Penh

[Left] CUTE boy! [Right] Sonn, who is starting the kindergarten in her home village

These are a few pictures from the village in Cambodia in which we're working. It's called Kampong Speu, and is about 2 hours southwest ofPhnom Penh. There is currently no Christian presence here.We have a friend named Sonn, a single lady in her late 30s, who is from this village. She became a Christian after her family had to flee from the Khmer Rouge and she went to work in Phnom Penh. She has learned to read and loves studying God's Word. Sonn has a vision to share Jesus' love with her people.We are currently building a school where Sonn will live and teach the children. Many children die each year during the rainy season while their parents are working in the rice fields, and Sonn wants to have aplace for these children to be cared for and know Jesus. She hopes the women will also come and have an opportunity to do embroidery on clothes that will be sold in PP. They will learn that their only security is the Living God. Pray for Sonn, an incredible woman of God, as she sets her heart and hands to the role of being a light in her home community.

Dengue

2006-04-17T15:38:00.000+08:00

Dearest,
A post has been a long time in coming....I wasn't able to finish the mural. I left Jordan and my other teammates. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Aceh.

After seeing 4 hospitals, 6 doctors, and the inside of my own private air-ambulance jet, I am now in Singapore, recovering...from a mosquito bite! Well, the mosquito left me with dengue fever, but now the fever is gone and I'm working to recover my platelets. The doctor is discharging me tomorrow, so I praise the Lord for healing! I am so excited that Jesus has risen to life and that I live now because He conquered death. I hope your Easter was filled with joy in the greatest victory that the human heart could ever know.

I will post pictures from Cambodia and Indonesia soon. I look forward to sharing more of God's goodness with you. When we are weak, He is strong. He alone is worthy to be praised.

Needs

2006-03-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

I just feel like crying out..."I NEED COMPASSION LORD!" Guys, my flesh just sees what's before me, for me. I don't know what other people feel, what they need. How do I love the little child who lives next door who is being beaten by her mom right in front of our eyes? How do I care about the moto taxi drivers who work so hard to secure the job of transporting us, often receiving 50 cents pay or less for their efforts. Or tonight, as I left the supermarket, a little child and two women upon the steps, asking...I searched my bags and found 3 yogurts. Yogurt: so simple, so smoothe, something I really enjoy, esp. in the morning with muesli. But this cry for compassion has been growing louder each hour, and I think the Lord allowed me to taste the gift of sharing the yogurts I had just purchased. Not really much at all, compared to the needs present all around me and my own need to grow, to confess and surrender and be filled with satisfying life. But nonetheless, I feel like in the simple act I was able to experience deep reality. I want greater compassion. I know this is not found in me. Please pray that I would taste and see that the Lord is good, that HE IS MY ALL, that He has called me to obey and live fully. From the sermon this morning, "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith - more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire - may be found in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him....I Peter 1:6-8

Tomorrow we're heading back out to the province (called Kompong Spew), probably for the last time this visit in Cambodia. Not sure if we'll stay the night or not, but if we do, we'll certainly heare the roosters around 4am! I will be spending time talking with Sonn, the Christian lady with the vision to start this kindergarden in her home village. I hope to learn about how God has brought her into His family when all her family is Buddhist and how He has called her to share the gospel with her community. My aim is to write a story that we can share with prayer warriors. This village needs prayer. They need to know the true life. Sonn needs strength for the upcoming battles. She needs protection, as the village can be a dangerous place. There are strongholds. But our God is Strongest! We have the authority of our Savior Jesus Christ. Paul urged us to "be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might." Ephesians 6:10ff - this will be meditating material over the next several days.

Jordan and I will fly back to Singapore on Thursday, have a few days there, and then head to Banda Aceh early next week. The "going" is good, and I see that there is purpose. Much around me is transition. I am uncertain about distant plans, and even things 'before' me seem vague. But shape is coming, and there is peace in the trusting.

Goodnight from Cambodia!

Living Fields

2006-03-16T17:15:00.000+08:00

I'm in Cambodia and found this book at the market...Title: Killing Fields, Living Fields. The book tells the complex story through the lives and testimonies of a handful of strategic Christians. From the back cover: "The Cambodian Church was first planted among the rice farmers of North-West Cambodia in the mid-1920s. Growth was slow and painful. Then fifty years of nearly fruitless toil culminated in the incredible decade of the 1970s, when joyous spiritual awakening was juxtaposed with indescribable devastation. Communist rule forced the massively depleted Church underground in Cambodia, drove it across into Thailand's crowded camps, and scattered it across six continents. At that time almost all the mature leadership perished under the Khmer Rouge. The camps are now closed; the Church is free; the time is ripe for growth and development."

Yesterday Jordan and I went to Tol Sleng: S-21, now a museum but between the years of 1976-1979 it served as the Khmer Rouge mass concentration camp and interrogation site. It was sickening. We just walked through the place in silence. How could these things happen? What did the people feel and think? How is God revealing His healing and power in this and its aftermath? What is the Cambodian Church now? Pray for the believers here. Pray for their witness in this heavily Buddhist country. I think back to Aceh and what I saw...devastation, opening to life. Pray for the living fields!

Let me tell you who Jordan is! She worked with MTI in Aceh for 6 months last year and has just joined me this month. We will be traveling companions for the next little while - she's from Knoxville, TN, is 24 years old too, and is supervising our construction projects in Indonesia and now Cambodia - she's just great and is becoming a dear friend. I praise the Lord for the provision of sending us "out" as a pair!...

I arrived in Phnom Penh on Monday and then went straight to the province (about 2 hours away) with Jordan and Mary Joy (from the Philippines!). The three of us stayed there overnight, hosted by the family of the Cambodian lady who has had the vision to take the love of Christ to her village (she is the only believer in her family and there is no Christian witness in this Buddhist village). We are working on a preschool for the lady to develop into a place of ministry and training...cultivating young hearts!). While there Jordan monitored the progress of the construction and the three of us ran a little "kids club" - 40 + kids came, accompanied by their mothers. It was amazing to just begin to be present with them, to pray for them while we laughed and played. Pray for these children, many of whom haven't heard of Jesus. Just 15 minutes after the children went home, it poured in a torrential storm - we're told storms this big only happen once a year! But it was refreshing.

...there's more to share...about the kids program in PP...just returned this afternoon from doing basic first-aid in the local community - putting medicine and bandages on the children's wounds. They get scrapes and bites that become infected quite easily.

I've been thinking to myself how many of my "wounds" are just sanitized before I even know they're there. I've been learning a lot - the Lord's been dealing in my heart of hearts in great ways. I look forward to sharing more with you when I'm next able.

-Grace and Peace from the Living Fields

I miss you, my "Casper" Trainer

2006-03-11T22:45:00.000+08:00

Tracer, YOU'RE 12 Now!!! I miss you a lot...Mom's been keepin' me up on all the celebration. I took these pictures of a skate park I saw while I was in Indonesia - it's called "Skate Park Tsunami"...of course, I thought about my brother who taught me how to do "Casper" in our living room (for any, who, as I was, may be unaware of this term, it signifies a horizontal rotation on the board affected by twisting the body (okay, this is not a "Pro" definition) - Trace, you can comment on this post and give us the real facts!!! Do you think if I dream hard enough I can learn to grind? [Laughing] It was fun to talk with you tonight. I sure love you.

Waiting

2006-03-09T18:38:00.000+08:00

Hi my friends! I have much to share...I think I'll try to post some pictures today and hope to write more soon.

Puji Tuhan (Bahasa-Indonesian for "Praise the Lord!")! I have been discharged from the hospital and am trying to heal quickly. Many of you don't know that I was hospitalized last Saturday, about 24 hours after I returned to Singapore from Indonesia. We decided to go to the hospital after I collapsed and then blacked out. It was such a weird feeling...I thought I had been sleep-walking or something, then I heard people trying to help me but I couldn't really even move. Thankfully the illness didn't take effect until I got back "home", since the medical facilities in S'pore are exceptional; after running several tests the doctor determined my condition to be the result of a bacteria infection - I figure those little guys were looking for a free ride to Singapore! But they sure put me out-of-commission for awhile - dehydration and the works! I still feel very weak and am suffering from severe headaches. Thank you for your prayers. I had to postpone my trip to Cambodia, and I'm still hoping to go. But the Lord has us wait sometimes.

Here are some more photos from Banda Aceh:

Local Fish Farms

Our Team House Dining Table

The white-tiled floor building is the Kindergarten we have just completed...I'll be painting the outside with colorful pictures during my next trip to Aceh.

Will there be a flood of joy?

2006-02-24T16:43:00.000+08:00

Seeing the world, seeing the tears. "Flood of tears" literally written in red paint on the side of a damaged house. Damage everywhere. What remains? Temporary shelters set up by the UN, USAID, various other countries, Habitat, Relief orgs...but how temporary are they? It's been over a year now. Yesterday I rode by motorbike through the provinces, past the mass graves, stopped at a posting of children's pictures, children with no parents anymore, talked with some kids who live in a tent- alone. Beautiful beach, calm waves, newly planted mangroves. Sun shining in Aceh. Bought most delicious ear of roasted corn from a lady, a tsunami widow. She lost her husband and two sons. She told me she used to sell about 50 ears of corn a day. But that was before, when there were buyers. Many gone, but some preserved. And for what? For Whom? I think what's struck me the deepest in my first week here is how God will use brokenness to restore. This area was closed, absolutely isolated, shut off, guarded against, "protected from": LIGHT. Now, the land can't help but receive it - PRAY that it will sink in and take root in powerful, enduring ways.

These are some children who lost their parents. They live alone in this tent.

We've had some valuable interactions here. This is so different than my classroom learning! I often get introduced as a "Community Development specialist" - though I hardly feel capable; shyly smiling on the inside, but confident that God uses donkeys. Meeting in the home of local fish farmers to see their perspective, meeting with the local authorities responsible for organizing NGO activities for rehabilitation, watching and waiting, exploring in faith and resting in a power not our own. I'm being asked to do things I don't think I know how to do...draw plans for the fish farm, if not from an architectural perspective then from an artist perspective. How do I do this? Okay, Lord, you can. I've seen the preschool I'll be painting...wow. I can't wait. I feel inadequate in so many ways, but ever eager. I know that today is the day.

Dave and Dirk left today...I will be here for a few more days. My heart is glad that I am not alone, that you are with me in the Light. I long to return to you, to share more fully. Have read from Acts this week during team devotions - Paul, during the shipwreck, knew His God. He said, "Not one person will be lost." The question put to me, to us, "How are we going to go about the tasks God has given us? from our education, to our bank accounts, citizenship, relationships...Paul was a highly qualified and determined person, but ultimately it was his weakness that allowed Christ to be all. Are we willing to put ourselves on the life for our Lord Jesus? Am I? Pray for sustenance and a courage not my own. When Paul knew his clear call, he held nothing back. No matter where he found himself, he wanted to be used by God.

Celebrate Love...with Quintuplets!!!!!

2006-02-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to you all!
In case you may be wondering, we do celebrate Valentine's Day here in Singapore...in fact, the government actually promotes it! This morning as I drove to the office I was amazed to see huge red hearts strapped to almost every tree lining the road. Each heart read, "Celebrate Love". The authorities seem to be emphasizing the feelings of love and goodwill.

Here's how Paul describes "Love" in his letter to the Corinthians..."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

So you might be wondering about the quintuplets? If anyone isn't sure, that's FIVE babies born at one time! So, Dawn and I were scheduled to babysit these 5 precious little girls (15 months old and the only quints in Singapore!) so their parents could go out to dinner tonight...So we left the office early to come home and prepare. Our house looked like a preschool after we were done setting up all the cushions and toys. Then the entourage came...1, 2, 3, 4, 5 toddling petite Chinese baby girls, parents, grandma, and two helpers! We had quite the party, taking a walk in the gardens, watching the fish swim, and sliding and swinging for the first time! This was only the second time these babies had all left the house together...their lives are truly miracles.

Chinese New Year has officially come to a close with the second full moon (Sunday night). I enjoyed the Sunday evening with a really neat family, who has offered me their daughter's bedroom when she gets married in May. This timing is actually quite perfect, since it looks like I'm not even going to be in Singapore much until May. Thank you for praying for my housing - I have been offered many options. I think I would really like living with this family - a mother with her 2 grown children (21 and 19 years). But for now, my home will be elsewhere. I fly out to Banda Aceh, Indonesia on my birthday, February 20, for two weeks. I think this is one of the neatest gifts I could imagine from the Lord - the gift of seeing what He is doing to repair broken hearts in this land so torn by flooding. Please cover me in prayer during this journey.

Pictured here is one of our team members who will be leaving with her husband this Saturday to move longterm to Banda Aceh - they will be getting the fisheries up and running. You can see the boat atop the house behind her.

I discovered that the kindy (gotta be the New Zealand way of saying "kindergarten") we have built in Banda actually needs murals painted on the interior walls...so I volunteered, hoping that my oil painting class from college will somehow prepare me for painting animals and other kid stuff on tall walls in Indonesia. If you have any creative ideas, please let me know!!!

These past days in the office have been good ones; getting a feel for what my role can be here. My official title is "Communications Coordinator", and one of my main responsibilities at this point is to receive prayer requests and praise items from our field workers and share these with all the fields, volunteers, board members, and prayer partners on a weekly basis. We are

calling this bulletin: MTI Weekly. One of the highlights in the headquarter office is our time of intercession on Monday afternoons. You are most welcome to join us!

I will close for now, but know that I ask the Lord to keep you in HIS steadfast Love. I sat under the stars tonight, full of emotion, and gazed at the moon. I watched as white clouds streamed across the midnight blue sky; yet the whole time the moon stood still. It reminded me of how steady is our God's love for us.
Celebrate this love!
This photo was taken by Aaron Little

Isaiah's Cross

2006-02-01T16:21:00.000+08:00

Zaybay! Thank you so much for the Cross necklace you gave me for Christmas. I want to tell you what your gift means to me in my new home.

(For my friends who don't know, my 7-year-old brother, Isaiah, found me the most beautiful silver cross at his school's Christmas "bizarre", and he wanted me to have it for Christmas. I wear it almost daily now that I have learned of its significance in this region.)

In Asia, the Cross of Christ is a very significant symbol to distinguish Christians from those practicing other religions; much different from the "stylistic" use of the cross shape in the West. The Buddhist and Hindu have their symbols, but when someone here wears a Cross, he or she is making a clear statement that Jesus is their God. Dave and Dawn have a wooden cross hanging on their front door, so that there is no question who is Lord of their house. The neighbors to the right of Dave and Dawn have an altar to Buddha outside their door. So, when I wear Isaiah's cross I ask the Lord to mark me with His grace, the grace of the Cross. Often Christians will begin conversations with other believers upon noticing their crosses. Maybe this will happen? Maybe an unbeliever will see Jesus' love in me and see the Cross? We who live because of the Cross now bear this Cross of Hope, which came through our Lord's suffering our penalty. He is great, and greatly to be praised! Brothers and sisters, let's share the light of the Cross, for our burden is now light!

Xing Nian Mong Un

2006-01-29T15:29:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese Lunar New Year, my Friends!

(literally, "Be filled with Grace")

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year, and I pray that the Lord of blessings encourages you through and through for the coming year.

This photo was taken at Dave and Dawn's cell group New Year party...Dawn and I are shown "tossing the fish"- at the beginning of the meal everyone together takes their chopsticks and tosses this colorful mixture complete with raw fish up into the air, the higher the better...all the while exclaiming hope, prayers, and blessings for the coming year (for pre-believers, the words center on good luck and prosperity wishes).

As you can tell, I am safe--praise the LORD! Singapore has been home now for almost a week. MTI Orientation proved to be a wonderful start to the road ahead, with great fellowship and important words to hear and share. Our mission: To be salt and light amonst the poor, ministering to their suffering and oppression. So great to dwell on this mission, to begin to soak it up in context. After a special week of meeting other missionaries on our teams and enjoying sights and sounds of my new home, like "Little India", Sentosa Island - where I walked onto the southernmost tip of Continental Asia-, and China Town (quite extravagant with lights and decorations), it is now time to settle. Goodbyes are everywhere...sending off others to their field countries, back home to raise additional support, away. While I stay. I am thankful to be based in Singapore, 'Singapura' = the "Lion City". Thankful for the weather. Thankful for the provisions. Thankful for the season of learning ahead. Thankful for opportunity to serve. Worshipped at church this morning with believers excited to be a blessing to the nations, for this is their calling as "blessed". We have been shown good news to share good news! Captivated by Jesus' words in John 20:21 - "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." Jesus was a Go-er and a SENDER in world missions! You all who send follow in His footsteps...Thank you!

Last night the Greenfields, my Filipina friend, Cathy, and I enjoyed a traditional Chinese family reunion meal with believers and friends of Dave and Dawn- an honor to be guests at a normally exclusively-family event. We ate "steamboat" - like fish fondue with soup broth. YUM!!! And I love the flavorful spice...everyone's amazed that I can take the heat, but Dawn chalks it up to being from Southern California with the Mexican chili pepper influence. I think my love for hot foods might also have been cultivated by exposure to Sara-Jinny's delicious Indian curry and those special Dad-Daughter dinners at the Thai restaraunt after report-cards went out :-) Anyhow, the food in Singapore is amazing, from traditional Chinese, to Indian, to Thai and Malay, to "Western" w/ lots of tropical fruits and vegetables to boot! And yes, Mike, we do have yogurt here!!! So, I invite all of you to come for a visit and I will take you to eat at the local places.

So many traditions surround Chinese New Year. Bring 2 oranges to the host, give children and single people even-valued monetary gifts in red packets (yes, there are benefits to being single!), don't wear black, do spring cleaning to send out the old dirt from the previous year (we passed by a car wash at 11pm last night, and the queue was out to the street- everyone's car is to be washed before the new year - talk about the 11th hour rush!!!), loud noises to ward off evil monsters (firecrackers are used for this, though since they are outlawed in Singapore people use recordings!), etc.... The sermon today urged the believers to cling to the blessings of a life trusting Christ, not superstitious hope in behavior to gain security that is not real. Materialism vs. Family Values...growing tension everywhere. I was taught so much last night as I observed the 2 sons take care of their elderly mom suffering from dimentia. We sang with her and prayed blessing over her. Ancestor worship is common here. But Christians know hope and can love in Christ's power. What power!

Driving on the left side of the road...steering wheels are on the right side of cars! I keep looking at cars and thinking, "That car has no driver!" Then, I glance to the other side and see him! Wew! That was a close one! I feel very safe here. It is very orderly, clean and green. Beautiful, really. No filth anywhere. No poverty in sight, but knowing that there are many laborers here from India and Malaysia particularly, who do jobs that most Singaporeans wouldn't do. Many around our wharehouse. I pray they receive special comfort as they work. There are not many caucasians...I feel like I can go blocks without seeing one. Yet, I don't feel stared at or intimidated.

Please pray that we will know the best housing arrangement for me. There's a German couple on one of our teams living here until their baby is born (late Feb.). They'll likely take my current flat. Many offers have come for my housing, but Dawn is in no "hurry", for she is praying that we will find the perfect match. She prays that my home will be a haven in which I can rest when I come home at night. This is the type of leadership I am working with- lovingly sensitive and believing that God shows His favor to His children in mighty ways. I hope you are encouraged to see His favor upon you.

"The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous to our eyes." Psalm 118:23

German Ducks Observed from a Prayer Window

2006-01-20T06:00:00.000+08:00

German Ducks Observed from a Prayer Window
-personal reflections

Pilgrims, surrounded by vast mucky blue,
If there be One to chart their course,
then Who?
To the stream's edge, but away they go
Wonder how and when they'll know....

To search for ground, or should we tread?
Maybe sky lies up ahead.
But Oh, that we not mistake
true living
for hopeless dead!
New direction. Hope of guidance. Ripples flow.
Today these ducks travel,
though not in a row.

What is it like to freely swim,
Knowing we are steadfast in Him.
Soon...maybe we'll REALIZE...
That the One who holds their path has given sure Light to our eyes.

EL ROI - "God of Seeing" Hagar's name for God in Gen. 16:13; He is the One who opens our eyes.
JEHOVAH-JIREH - "The Lord Will Provide"; Gen. 22:14. From 'jireh' ('to see' or 'to provide' or 'to foresee', as a prophet). God always provides, adequate when the time comes.

Hosea 6:3 - Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear (He will speak like the coming of the Dawn!).

Psalm 111

...And Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. Rom. 5:5

Friends, I have rested today, through much prayer and fasting. Learning about these gifts. Then, tonight, surprised after prayer with a German girl who lived 10 years in Turkey to be invited to her International church plant in Heilbron, about 45 min. drive from Mosbach. So, I was thrilled, fine with missing tonight's session for this opportunity! The fellowship included Turkish, Persian, Arabic, and German believers as well as some non-believers (most are refugees). Music sung in all the languages, even English! Preaching from John 4: Living water for Samaritan woman...she was a great missionary to her people. When we receive this water, we are called to testify that others' thirst would be quenched and our hearts delighted! Struck by Jesus' words from vv.32 on.

Tomorrow's the last day of the conference. I am eager to get on the plane to continue "homeward", but also delighting in these last moments with new friends...Hope never disappoints...we will be HOME with our Light and Life soon, together.... "I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the reaper draws his wages, even now he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together..."-Jesus.

Ticket to Rest!

2006-01-14T06:47:00.000+08:00

Dear friends,
Wow, I just had such fun reading your comments...keep them coming! I delight in picturing each of you as you "talk" with me. Spinach, Bible studies, joy, the weather - EVERYTHING about you guys is like clothes of comfort! And, I must say, I'm very impressed at your "blogging capacity" :-)

I wanted to tell you of yet another provision that happened about 7 hours ago. The Lord provided a ticket from Germany to Singapore on the ideal date (Jan. 21). There is an East Asia Pacific rep here who was helping me work through the issue of not having flight arrangements confirmed for going from the conference to the field (you never know what things will come up, eh?). Together we researched some options, either passing through Turkey, Bangladesh, or Sri Lanka. Last night 3 friends were also busily searching online sites to help me. But, today, the Lord saw fit to provide a direct flight (found by an OM Germany travel agent), totalling almost exactly what MTI had originally budgeted for the expense. I just sing and rest, but man it's so good to have that done! Earlier today we thought we might not be able to move on anything until next Tuesday. Then, showers of His work. Tonight's session focused on prayer, with the theme of "Remembering the Past; Shaping the Future" - our prayers are powerful and effective. Psalm 2:8

Shelter, Strong Tower

2006-01-11T04:03:00.001+08:00

Shelter...that's the word I have for today, which is merged into the last. Worship flowed during car ride to airport; delayed departure made way for a few final phone calls from my gate; heavy bags and a broken wheel upon retrieval, all was carried and I am not weighed down by my insufficiencies; reunion of friends met in October; international fellowship!; exhausted. Thinking about TIME: to pray, to rest, to talk, to listen, to retreat, to leave. This leaving is physical, but also emotional. Tomorrow I begin to lead a fellowship group dealing with such realities. Something I just read in the book Healing for Damaged Emotions I scanned on OM's shelf: The word happiness has its roots in the word happenings. Happiness depends on happenings, on what happens to us, externals that we can't control. Joy is the right word for what we Christians are to expect. For joy is an internal word which has to do with relationships, not circumstances, not happenings. Joy is the inner calm at the eye of the storm; feelings can be stormy, but there can also be an inner sense of righteousness to the will of God...Paul said it so well, 'But of Him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption' (I Cor. 1:30)." Remember with me, friends, our God is able!

The German landscape is beautiful! Mountains with frosted trees, bubbling brooks, green pastures. I thoroughly enjoyed the bus ride from Frankfurt to Mosbach. My accommodations are called "Container 1". Bunk beds galore...hopefully, I'll stay warm tonight with temps below freezing! A few of us ventured into the town this afternoon - lovely homes, many with red roofs, churches, bakeries, and paths to walk. Oh, and we saw German ducks! Well, they look the same as the American ones, and the Canadian ones, according to a brother from Canada. It's good to be here. Thankful for your prayers for my travels. I'm longing to rest in the provision for what is to come. Gladness of heart comes from the Lord, who is our Strong Tower.

About to Board

2006-01-09T21:53:00.000+08:00

Friends,

What emotions.

Yesterday, my charge and commissioning. Love the Lord of the work before the work of the Lord. Recognize that without God, I can do nothing. Psalm 66:8 - Sing aloud His praises; He keeps my feet from falling away. In our weakness, He will show His strength. Acts 13:1. I am a part of the body, working "over there". You go with me. Thank you.

Today is the day I leave for Germany. Thankful that Aaron's taking me to the airport. Saying goodbyes...awoke at 6am to be with Trace. We sat, talked. Then, the goodbye. A 3 minute solid hug from an 11 year-old. TEARS so sweet from both pairs of eyes; united. The welling up is happening again...he's off. Then, the younger three come down stairs. Listen and dance to the song, "He's the giver of ALL good things!" (by Saturday). Aaron and I are going to surprise them with a visit during lunch, the final parting. Lord, hold us. This is hard, and You sustain. Last minute "getting things together" - of course, it's me! So, I pruned my suitcase last night and released half the wardrobe I had in there. Well, it's slightly challenging to back both for Germany's winter and then Singapore's equator!~ but, then again, I'm no packing pro. :p Maybe I'll get the hang of simplicity some day!

I am excited for what lies ahead. Thankful to be going now. Waiting for specifics. Wanting to be found faithful today. Training in Germany (Mosbach) for the next few days, then departing Germany for my new home in Singapore (Mercy Teams Orientation is around Jan. 24-27). Praise the Lord that I can attend - He has provided abundantly! I appreciate each of you and the support you have lavished upon me. God speed.

First Post

2005-12-19T10:45:00.000+08:00

Hey everybody, just writing to let you know that I have a blog and will post of my adventures in asia. I'm in Denver right now with the coolest curly-haired cutie ever (not my dog).

Note: This is just a test. This is only a test. Please do not panic.

Signed,

Asha, but mostly Erik.