Where the Rubber Meets the Road

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy! And to all those who have ever nurtured someone as their child...Your love and time have blessed us.

Mom, you are so special to me!

Wow. My last post was pretty intense. Not many comments - maybe there were things that I said and quoted that were extreme and troubled you. I think it's good to clarify that I personally am not condemning wealth all together or advocating a complete socialistic structure. I genuinely believe God loves to bless people with possessions and resources for a great purpose to enjoy and to steward. We just must be ever so sensitive to the calling of the Spirit to fight against our tendency to hold earthly comfort as more fulfilling than Jesus and to overlook injustice, and we must be disciplined to work toward kingdom treasure, rooted in relationship. Often we are blinded by our world and our own unwillingness to surrender. I struggle with my own responsibility in this, for my flesh wars against the things of the Spirit. It's kinda different to process some of these things "out loud" through a blog and to share with thoughts as I struggle with them, and though I can't possibly share all things, esp. as they are happening, sometimes there is opportunity and I am compelled to write. I really do invite your thoughts; I want to learn from you and receive your honest words of challenge or agreement. What has the Holy Spirit shown you? In the last post I made a comment about my many years of Christian schooling. Please let me express how grateful I am for my beloved parents' efforts to send me through Christian schooling and for the invaluable instruction of faithful men and women over the years. Learning history, science, math, philosophy, religion...from professors who know God and are burdened for His glory and my growth in Him has shaped my heart for life. My reflection was actually dealing with a realization and confession of my own lack of integrating the things I am coming to know of the heart of God with my "every day" decisions and lifestyle....

but we are not crushed by guilt when we find things that we need to change. We have a King who has made whole what was broken. In this life we are always growing, always learning new things in the journey with Our Maker, Redeemer, and Friend. I should never be content with the present state of my obedience or passion. Yet I always will rest in the provision through Jesus, who has cleansed me and made me part of His royal priesthood.

You are My Hiding Place

I find you in the secret place

I find you on the mountain

I find you in the early hours of my day,

I find you when I'm waiting

I find you when I'm in Your Word

I find you when I'm talking to you when I pray

Create in me a clean heart

As I come away with you

Wash away all of my stains

And restore to me the joy I have in you

You are my hiding

You are my hiding place

song by Joe Pringle, Christian City Worship 2005 (Australia)

This last week I have been worshipping with 10,000 young Singaporeans at City Harvest Church. LEARNING TO PRAY IN THE SPIRIT for the victory of the Lord in our world!

...It was a difficult week...It was a week of victory...I'll explain with great joy in the Lord...

MTI has asked me to go back to Banda Aceh to take over for Jordan who will be returning to the States this week. With Jordan leaving there is a great need for supervising the final touches to the kindergarden before school starts on July 1 (ordering inside equipment and the outside playground, landscaping, finishing the mural (yeah!), etc. From my home in America, I told the Lord I was willing, willing to go to the uttermost parts, willing to give him my youth, willing. But, it's not so easy to move forward when I've seen the place and realize that unless I cling to Jesus and follow Him, it will be a burden too great to bear. This time, this trip, this request of MTI, can be said to be "where the rubber meets the road" for me in walking with Jesus (a phrase that 4 people on separate occasions spoke to me this week). I took a few days of being still (this can be one of my greatest challenges!), quieting myself to be with the Lord and to listen. My questions to him were like... But Lord, is it "wise" to return given that I've returned from BA twice now to be hospitalized? Oh, someday I'll have to tell you the story of "trying out" the hospitals in BA!!! :-) Banda Aceh- my last days there were spent with fever and rashes. Banda Aceh- it can be so oppressive. Banda Aceh - I only know a few people there and there's nothing much to do, nowhere to go. I've just begun staying with a believing Chinese family in Singapore last week, and it is so comfortable to be here; I feel at home; There are good things in being here - I'm learning a lot about intercession and enjoying fellowship with teens who are hungry to be real with Jesus. I would only be in Aceh for a month over (Singlish meaning "a little over a month"), then going onto Myanmar for what is likely to be the remainder of the year. That's so much transition, Lord! And for some reason, I feel ready for Myanmar, like being there for 6 months min. and working on learning Burmese to communicate and build relationships is so appealing. But Aceh? I don't think I'm afraid of the physical hazards (e.g. yesterday brought a 5 point over earthquake in Aceh). No, my fear has been for my emotions, my comfort, a fear of loneliness and insecurity. Maybe the work will be too difficult to do alone? Maybe I'll be so bored and just weary with no one to share with? ...and the victory came after this battle in my spirit. Jesus wants to take me to a place of further dependence on and intimacy with Him for my needs. I love people, and building community, and sharing from the heart, and many of these are spirit-born desires, but I also can get caught up with human relationships and neglect my Jesus. The Lord has for me to grow to be with Him, to learn from Him, to worship and share with Him. I now am ready, and excited! I still anticipate difficulties, but I am awaiting a fuller knowledge of the presence of Jesus with me as I'm in Aceh. And, I think this is preparation for more to come, for if I go to Myanmar there will be even more limited access to communication. The other night Jordan shared with me a little of her experience of being alone in Aceh last year. She said, "It's like when there's no one else to talk with, you just have to have Jesus there with you, to sit with, to share with, to do all things together."

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

- Paul and Timonthy, in Philippians 4:19

And one of the most amazing things this week was tasting what Spirit-led prayer can be!!! For years I've longed to cry out to the Father with His heartbeat, to really speak the things on His heart, to loose the heavenly inheritance of the kingdom on earth...it was Friday night and I was with around 10,ooo other believers - picture an auditorium filled with people crying out, arms upraised and sometimes passionately pleading, all engaged in a great love language war cry for the God who Hears to answer.

It's beyond description...I could see Aceh and cry out for God's heart for the people, I knew the Spirit was praying and my mind was fully engaged. Rather than feeling disjointed geographically or topic-wise, as is often the case when I sit down to pray, I felt like I was flying across the globe and could be anywhere at anytime, depending on where the Spirit led for intercession. A mature woman said these words to me, "We must ask the Lord to guide our tongue and be self-controlled to surrender totally. When our prayers are answered we know it was not our own doing or words, but the words of the Spirit. The enemy cannot understand prayer in the spirit and so wants to deceive us and render us ineffective." Many of my brothers and sisters here in Asia have walked in this prayer life much longer than me, and I feel like a baby in talking with our Father. It is awesome to know that our Lord hears us at all times, when we're young and when we're old, when we speak and when we don't, when we're afraid and when we're bold, when we're contemplative and when we're boisterous...The Holy Spirit is calling us to greater things and He is faithful to complete the good work He has begun in us. Prayer gives birth to great things, and they can happen suddenly! Pray for revival across the globe. We have the authority.

Guess what? I love learning to play the guitar! Worshipping in song is unlike anything else. So far my guitar "lessons" (generously donated by talented friends and teammates) have been very "international" - Indonesia, Cambodia, Singapore and Thailand...and I've found that the chord fingerings are quite universal! Hopefully they'll be a guitar teacher in Myanmar (and a guitar!). How incredible it is to be able to sing and play at the same time - (something I could never do with the flute!). Michaela, Mom said you played your flute so beautifully at your school's concert! Wish I could have been there, sweet sis. I'm so proud of you!

They shall come and sing aloud on the height of Zion,

and they shall be radiant over the goodness of the Lord...

Jeremiah 31:12

Thank you for praying for me, friends. My body and spirit are sustained because you pray. It is a privilege to be here and to share with you through the distance.